Theory 1
A long time ago, in a wine bar in Leicester, Copywriter Steve suggested that you become a grown-up only after you have a child.

Theory 2
Less long ago, in a bathroom in Earlsfield, I decided that grown-upness is attained when you no longer run out of toilet paper.

Theory 3
Hardly any time ago, in this house, Matt put forward the notion that grown-ups are the only people with kitchen roll.

I am delighted to announce that, even after having two number ones, we ran out of number two this morning, which would have been desperate if it weren’t for number three.