Last night, a friend of ours phoned up (let’s call her “Sarah” – everyone else does) and said our three Marans will be arriving this week.

And the chicken coop flew to the top of the To Do List.

Out came The Book (“Poultry House Construction” by Michael Roberts) and onto paper went a design for a ten-hen house modified for our site and height – two metres long and a generous 190mm of standing room.

Today I took the design to my nemesis. Just think Intimidating Video Store Guy and change the scene to the wood cutting section of a B&Q-alike corrugated warehouse.

Me: (SHOWING PLAN) Can I have this in 12mm external ply?

He: No. We only have 10mm external ply.

Me: Oh. Can I have it in 10mm ply, then?

He: No. The maximum is 200mm by 153mm, not 190mm.

Me: Oh. If I change that, that and that to 153mm, can I have it?

He: No. I don’t have enough.

After an equally failed attempt at another B&Q-alike (where I was told I couldn’t have it because it was too expensive – gotta love the French attitude to capitalism), I returned empty trailered for lunch.

That’s when we decided to make a temporary chicken house out of pallets.

That’s when I remembered that the lumber yard I got some wood from recently also makes pallets.

That’s where I went to buy five pallets worth of wood that hadn’t even been nailed together (thereby saving myself the time and effort of smashing them apart again) which is now sitting in the workshop waiting for…

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